INTRODUCTION

HER STORY

QUOTES

Bette Davis used to tell everyone that Joan Crawford only got into movies by way of the casting couch-- until Joan hit her back with, "Well, my dear, it sure beat the cold, hard floor!"

Director George Cukor referred to the female stars of "The Women"-- Crawford, Shearer, Russell, Goddard and Fontaine, as a "gaggle of Scarlett O'Hara rejects."

Years after the divorce, husband Phillip Terry would recall how Joan had kept him on a leash, running her household like a dictator, drawing up a schedule divided into fifteen-minute blocks-- and allotting him one hour for sex each afternoon.

Eva Phillips, Joan's character in "Queen Bee," would be used many years later as the basis for Patricia Hamilton, Australia's very first television superbitch in the cult soap "Sons and Daughters"-- played with almost equal conviction by Rowena Wallace.

Liberace said of her, "You never see Joan Crawford schlepping around in a mu-mu. she knows the meaning of glamour and its importance to the people who-- without any themselves-- love to look at it in others."

Joan claimed she remembered June 27, 1943-- the day she strode into Louis B. Mayer's office and announced that she was leaving MGM that very day-- more than any of her wedding anniversaries.

Joan liked to refer to MGM rival Greer Garson as "that fucking refugee from Hitler."

Joan had an engaging way of leaving a party that she happened to find boring or uncomfortable. Rather than blame a headache or anything so mundane, she would simply pick up the nearest telephone-- whether it had rung or not-- and registering enormous shock would say, "What?! Oh my God! When did it happen? Yes, yes, of course, I'll be right there." She would slam down the receiver, grab her coat, and go off. She never bothered to advise the hostess or any of the guests what had transpired, preferring to send a note the following day. These letters were cherished in Hollywood, for they always explained some horrid happenstance but ended with the inevitable phrase, "Thank God everything turned out all right."

Her brother Hal moved to Hollywood hoping to follow in his sister's footsteps. He worked as an extra and stunt man at MGM and hated it, and was in the Metro makeup department before leaving to become a sporting goods salesman.

By the time of The Lucy Show, Lucille Ball was increasingly dictatorial on the studio set. Sometimes she was brutal to guest stars, even to such legendary figures as Joan Crawford, who appeared on the teleseries in February 1968. Joan was rehearsing a Charleston number for the episode. A displeased Ball stalked over to Crawford and growled, "You got into the movies as a Charleston dancer and you can't dance. I can't believe it. We'll try this one more time and if it doesn't work, it's out!" She then ordered the Oscar winner, "Come on, let's do it again." Still dissatisfied, Lucy Snarled, "This number is out!" A shattered Crawford retreated to her dressing room, where she collapsed on the floor in tears.

For Joan, her fans' adulation was the nectar of life and a sacred responsibility. Every piece of fan mail sent to her was answered, whether by herself (She even wore a special outfit to tend to the chore.) or by her hirelings.

She based her life around fourness. She had four husbands, stayed with each of them for four years, and had four adopted children.

Of Joan's false breasts, Bette Davis once remarked, "I keep running into them, like the Hollywood Hills."

Joan knew the birthday of every member of her crew and even their wives and children. At the end of her pictures, Crawford gave the entire production team gifts fashioned of sterling silver, with their own individual inscription.

After she had had two major flops, "Rain" and "Today We Live," MGM poured all its considerable resources-- top talent on the lot all the way down-- into "Dancing Lady," so Crawford would regain her box-office standing.  It worked. The movie was so commercially successful that for years it was the yardstick by which MGM measured the success of its other products.

Her good friend Billy Haines said, "To be Joan Crawford's boyfriend, a man must be a combination bull and butler."

She nicknamed her husband Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.  "Dodo." And her pet name for Spencer Tracy was "Slug."

Her poodle, Cliquot, usually ate white meat of chicken, ground sirloin, ice cream and ginger ale. He wore custom made jackets from Hammacher Schlemmer. They were red with black velvet collars with "CC" on them. They had heart-shaped pockets with Kleenex in them in case he had to blow his nose. And he had a rhinestone collar for evening.

She insisted on her dishes being scalded before she used them-- although, being a perpetual dieter, she rarely had more than black coffee and soda crackers (spread with mustard) for lunch.

Her 1930 Christmas present from husband Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. was a portable dressing room, furnished by stepmother-in-law Mary Pickford.

Joan quietly turned over a percentage of her income to pay for medical aid for the underprivileged, and for twelve years supported a four-bed ward, for the use of her co-workers, at Santa Monica Hospital.

Joan was a jogger years before the word was invented. It was her habit, on the way to work in the morning, to stop her limousine, step out, and run for a mile or so with her chauffeur following at a discreet distance.

There was a saying around M-G-M -- Shearer got the productions, Garbo supplied the art, and Joan Crawford made the money to pay for both.

Her usual entree order at "21", her favorite New York Club, was calves liver with bacon, and a spinach salad with lots of vinegar and lots of bacon.

As a young woman, Joan chewed gum not for the fun of it but because the exercise firmed the chin, then stopped chomping when somebody suggested that the habit lacked refinement.

Joan's adopted son Christopher was named Phillip Jr. at first but she changed his name immediately after her divorce from Phillip Terry.

Nine actresses turned down the part of "Mommie Dearest" for fear of offending Joan's powerful Hollywood friends.  Ironically, Faye Dunaway, whom Joan admired most, played the role.

"Queen Bee" is one film that is strongly identified with Joan.  Christina said it was typecast.

On an average trip she would use thousands of sheets of white tissue paper to wrap things individually.

During her marriage to Alfred Steele, Joan always referred to Pepsi-Cola as "our child."

Her brother Hal died in 1963 of a ruptured appendix-- some say he died of syphilis.  He was working as a clerk in a Los Angeles motel. Joan did not attend the funeral.

When "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane" was finished, Bette Davis referred to Joan and herself as "we two old broads." Joan sent Bette a note on her traditional blue stationery: "Dear Miss Davis. Please do not continue to refer to me as an old broad. Sincerely, Joan Crawford."

When she went to England in the mid-sixties to film "Berserk" she was welcomed by the British press as "Her Serene Crawfordship."

Once, somewhere in Europe, she was mobbed.  The fans almost tore her clothes off.  She was in heaven.

In 1928, when her determination and guts finally made her a star in "Our Dancing Daughters," Joan answered each fan letter personally, stamped the envelopes, and took them to the post office herself.

Her little tap dancing in "Hollywood Revue of 1929" was the first audible tap dance on the screen.

When Joan adopted her daughter in 1940 the child was three months old and Joan named her Joan Jr. but then re-named her Christina a few months later.

Joan adopted two girls (Cathy and Cindy) which she always referred to as twins although the girls were born one month apart.

Someone once commented "Joan, that red hat makes you look radiant." She replied "Why the f*** do you think I wear it!"

She remained a member of the Board of Pepsi Cola Company till 1972 when corporate powers saw no further use for her and pushed her out; after that she referred to the CEO as "Fang."

Her four adopted children received little from her two million dollar estate: $77,500 each for Cathy and Cindy, nothing for Christopher or Christina "for reasons best known to them."

Would not even walk into a hotel room unless it had a loaf of toasted French bread and seven packs of cigarettes (three opened) waiting for her. She also liked to know in advance the exact number of steps from the elevator to her hotel room.

Joan altered the birth dates on the birth certificates for all four of her adopted children after Christopher's birth mother almost found him. After the change this never happened again.

During the filming of "Johnny Guitar" it became evident that Joan and costar Mercedes McCambridge hated each other. They had adjoining rooms until Joan threw all Mercedes' clothes out into the road! Mercedes was immediately moved to another room (far from Joan).

Joan once lost a maid because she asked her to wax the tree outside her bedroom window.

Although she always looked tall on the big screen Joan was actually only 5 feet 4 inches in heels and weighed 125 pounds.

Joan loved the telephone and had phones installed in every room of her house. She would always conduct business while sitting in the tub.

Joan fixed her hair and makeup beneath the most glaring light possible. She figured if she could make herself look good in that light, she'd look good anywhere.

At a Hollywood cocktail party in the late 30's, angelic Loretta Young was doing her best to avoid vampish Joan. Sensing a snub, the intoxicated Joan got her revenge when George Cukor was about to park his ass on the couch - she said, "You can't sit there, that's Loretta Young's chair - you can tell by the cross mark on the seat!"

Her adopted daughter Christina had a severe stroke two years after she wrote the vitriolic book 'Mommie Dearest'.  It took her seven years to recover, two of which were spent in a hospital.  She now runs a bed and breakfast in Idaho.

Joan sang in three films "Laughing Sinners," "Hollywood Revue of 1929" and "Torch Song." In "Torch Song" her voice was dubbed in by India Adams but in the other two she really sings.

Joan Crawford has had the longest career on the screen of anyone who ever worked before the camera. Mary Astor made her screen début in September 1921 and retired from the screen in  March 1965 and was therefore technically on the screen longer than Joan Crawford, but in roles of diminished importance.

Her Oscar for "Mildred Pierce" went on auction after her death and sold for $68,000. The auction house had predicted a top bid of $15,000.

Her 1933 contract with MGM was so detailed (and stringent) it even had a clause in it indicating what time she was expected to be in bed each night.

Louis B. Mayer made her drop her real name, Lucille LeSueur, because it sounded too much like 'sewer'.

She used to follow guests around her house wiping everything they touched, especially doorknobs.

Made some sex films back in the Twenties, most notably a silent one-reeler tantalisingly entitled 'The Casting Couch'. It is alleged that after she became famous MGM shelled out over half a million dollars in an attempt to buy up every surviving copy of the film. When one possessor of some nude shots refused to part with them, his house was burned down three weeks later, himself being a casualty as well as the pics.

Although she would later on develop a fetish for cleanliness, in her early days Joan was so lax about personal hygiene that wardrobe workers had to pick up her used costumes with a stick.

Joan's children were not allowed out of bed at night without permission. She kept Christopher hostage in his bed with her self-styled 'sleep safe,' a harness made of heavy canvas straps. When explaining to unsuspecting visitors why her young son was tied into his bed, Crawford replied, "Oh, he likes to kick off the covers and suck his thumb."

Later in life Crawford became a very heavy vodka drinker. She always carried a flask filled with her drink of choice, and when dining out, 100-proof Smirnoff was always awaiting her arrival (despite her meticulous ways, she liked to stir her drink with her fingers). Heaven help the waiters if they brought her anything less than 100-proof; she had become an expert on vodka, and if the drink did not meet her standards, she would scream at them to take it back.

In the early 1930s, tired of playing fun-loving flappers and longing for more dramatic roles, Joan wanted to change her image. Thin lips would not do for her, she wanted big lips. Big, full and ripe. Ignoring Crawford's natural lip contours, Max Factor ran a smear of colour across her upper and lower lips; it was just what she wanted. To Max, the Crawford look, which became her trademark, was always 'the smear'. To the public, it became known as 'Hunter's Bow Lips'. Crawford is often credited as helping to rout America's prejudice against lipstick.

Each time Joan Crawford married, she changed the name of her Brentwood estate and installed all new toilet seats.

Joan loved to travel for Pepsi-Cola. Once on tour she needed a vitamin shot. A doctor was called to the airport. There was nowhere for them to go but the men’s room, which was empty. Joan bent over. ‘Can you imagine,’ she said, ‘if a man had come in and seen my bare ass?’

Joan had a passion for cleanliness. She never wore a dress, a hat or a coat that wasn’t sent to the cleaners instantly after wearing it. She used to wash her hands every ten minutes and couldn’t step out of the house unless she had gloves on.

When she stayed in a hotel, no matter how many stars it had, Joan always scrubbed the bathroom herself before using it. At home, after a workman had installed a new bathtub and toilet, then used them, she had the plumbing torn out and replaced immediately.

Joan would never smoke a cigarette unless she opened the pack herself, and would never use another cigarette out of that pack if someone else had touched it.

In 1946, although an Oscar nominee for Best Actress (Mildred Pierce), Joan was not present at the ceremony. She was at home in bed with the flu and a bottle of Jack Daniels bourbon. She listened to the show over the radio. When she was announced the winner, she exhaled with a scream that alerted the newsmen on the lawn below her window that she had won. Jumping out of bed, the ailing star then called for her hairdresser and makeup man, on call in the next room.