"Yeah, laugh all you want... someday I'm gonna have REAL pearls!"

 

"Could we wrap this shoot quickly? I've got a hot play date with some Monegasque brat."

 

"Mommy, do you think I'm prettier than that skinny little Ross girl?"

 

"Eww, no more cake for me. My dexedrine just kicked in!"

 

"I didn't make a mess, Mommy... Widdle Spencer threw me in the mud!"

 

"I'M the girl of the golden WEST!  So WHERE'S my damned PONY??!!"

 

"HA HA !! It'll take them YEARS to find that I've hidden the crown jewels up inside dolly!!"

 

"I know how to spit up, you know... I just put my lips together and blow!"

 

"I feel absolutely von TRAPPED in these braids!"

 

"The Australian Brooke Shields?? I don't THINK so!!"

 

"I'm having a profound thought... I must make a journal entry... if only I could write."

 

"The wreEEEEtched rEEEEEfuse of your TEEEEEEEEming shOOOOOOOORRREEEEE."

 

"One day my prince will come."

 

"If you think I look funny now, just wait till I'm a lady!"

 

"Gimme a viskey - it might improve my looks!"

 

"Chubby?! What do you mean - chubby?!"

 

"Send me victorious..."

 

"Well you look thin mommy - but are you rich?"

 

"Elizabeth dear - if you don't want the job, I'm ready!"

 

"If you think I'm pretty now, just wait until I'm a woman!"

 

"Hmm - chudney or ketchup?"

 

"...and Velvet wins by a length!"

 

"My mommy dearest loves me!"

 

"Eat your heart out Garland! My Easter bonnet outdoes yours any day!"

 

"I'm not a gypsy, a tramp or a thief! I'm just trick or treating!"

 

"A, B, A, B ... I can't seem to get this right!"

 

"I'm NOT a sissy boy!"

 

"Mummy said if I eat my waffles, my neck will grow."

 

"Wahh! I think I made Waterloo again!"

 

"I'd kill for a Pablum fix!"

 

"I wonder if the Eiffel Tower really is taller than the Pyramids?"

 

"I can cry for whatever I want, and I'll get it ... even the Argentine!"

 

"I'd best enjoy my cuteness while I can."

 

"They even give me pills so I can go potty!"

 

"Ma's gonna dye my hair platinum!"

 

"Politics ... shipping ... publishing?? Hell, I'll do it ALL."

 

"Every time I cry, I shatter my bottle ... is good, yes?"

 

"I'm just a perfect little blue angel."

 

"Ronnie, do I really look like a bitch?"

 

"... and in three short years I'll be Queen of the Sandbox."

 

"I'm starting out as the Kitten of Tiger Bay."

 

"Just fill my tummy with pasta and drop me off at Cinecitta Italia."

 

"And I-eeeee-yiiiiiiii will always loveeeeeeeeeee ... what's-his-name."

 

"Brunhilda ... Hilda ... hmmm ..."

 

"I'm the cutest little Jewish girl in Hawaii."

 

"Mummy, pass the hairspray, would you? There's a dear."

 

"Where's that little guy with the toy boat?"

 

"I'm the Henna-Rincess of Franistan."

"Catholic, Schmatholic!"

"Opera! Pop! Classics! This ain't going to be just a shadow of a talent!"

"Wishin' and hopin' ... to get out of this silly uniform!"

"Oh, Daddy! They're havin' a party two doors down ... kin Ah go?"

"Yay! Little Johnny Stoop--... Strop--... Stum--... ??? invited me to his birthday party."

A tremendous THANK YOU! to the people who contributed to these pages - Adam, David, Jimmy, Katja, Laura, Mikee, Mikey, Nicole amongst others!

All picture captions used in this and every other picture gallery of this web site are made up and are used for satirical effect only. Any similarity of these captions to actual statements made by the public figures represented in the pictures, living or dead, is coincidental. Depictions of these public figures are for satirical and humor value only and are not intended to slander or insult.